i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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