I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
there was a trapeze. enough said
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
