he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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