Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
