I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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