you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
