I wanna passion pit in your ass
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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