Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
