Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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