Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
