Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
