so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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