Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
