Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
