im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
