I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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