Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
