I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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