Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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