Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
