What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
