your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
