Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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