So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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