found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
