Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
