You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
