either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
