We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
