C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
