He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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