please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Randomize
