..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
