Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
