Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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