I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
