I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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