she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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