Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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