Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
