actually, I'm a sock model
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
