omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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