made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
