I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
