I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
