ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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