And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
