how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
