His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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