oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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