Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
