so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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