So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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