I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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