i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
