is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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