Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
