So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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