Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
