I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
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